STFU FFS. Please.
posted by Missus Boot at 17:08
My neighbours, who lived on the right but now live on the left, are having their house on the right renovated. Which is nice for them, but not so nice for us as for the past eight weeks we have to listen to drilling, banging, scraping and, occasionally, what sounds like cows being pushed through tiny little holes in the wall. Every. Single. Day.

To start off with we didn't mind, I worked at night and got some sleep during the day, the boy did his homework at school and the bloke went off and broke his cars while attempting to fix them. When the noise got annoying we would just play loud games or music, after all, it was all meant to be completed in three weeks. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Five weeks on, and there is no end in sight. The builders reckon they're going to be there for another eight weeks. FFS. The walls are shit-thin. All my plastering on the party wall is now cracked in a most unattractive fashion. We are being driven insane with bang-drill-mooooOOOooo noises. And the neighbours are all, "Oh, I'm sorry for any inconvenience, it won't be for much longer and we won't do it again, promise." Then they do it again.

And their ugly planning-permissionless extension box thing blocks most of the light my kitchen window. Their overflow goes into my garden. Bet you a crisp tenner that they don't sort that out.

Now the neighbours aren't speaking to us because, after several 'please give us a day off' requests, we had the audacity to complain about the noise to Environmental Health, who told them not to have work done after 7pm on weekdays, after 1pm on Saturdays and not at all on Sundays or Bank Holidays. Sweet. Sadly, the neighbours have completely ignored it, the arsewanks. It's alright for them, they can't hear it from their house.

FFS. Can't sleep because of the noise. Can't work because I'm too knackered. I'm not sure whether this post is in English or some sort of space-alien language. The plasterer's van is outside and it has plasterboard on the roof that I would really like to break into thousands of little pieces and pop through the neighbour's letterbox. My son can't do his homework, epic essays or his map stuff because of it, and has started a protest. He's rattled off a letter to the local rag, told me about the community police men who might sort it out, and has set up a petition. I love him dearly.

I'm going to make a great big gigantic sign with the url on it and stick it in my window when I get some kip.

*I can't be arsed to write all this out again, so I'm doing a quick copy and paste from one of my rare posts in Teh Forum, taking out the more colourful metaphors as the boy will moan at me. It's nice at Teh Forum. They have bees, cake and tea.